Often when a relationship ends you are devastated as you feel your world has been turned upside down. When it first happens, it is tough not to just focus on the negatives of the situation.
Really though, it is the ideal time to improve pretty much every aspect of your life. Once you get over the initial shock, you suddenly have an excess of time and motivation. You may have gotten lazy about trying to better yourself for your ex, but you’ll be sure to want to do so for yourself or at least to attract someone better.
When you’re in the midst of a long term relationship, you just get to a comfortable point. You either think your partner truly likes you for who you are or you just become too resentful to want to improve anything for them. Ok maybe that latter scenario isn’t too comfortable. Either situation is likely to hold you back though.
A lot of times this is mostly about improving physical appearances by getting in better shape, but it also applies to all other areas of your life…finances, career, social life, education, nutrition and overall happiness. You might just not have enough time to properly address those areas when someone else is the focus of your spare time.
Personally I am really enjoying this new found motivation. Too much was just coasting along at a sub-par level. Now that I am single and moving on, I just feel so productive. Why couldn’t I have this kind of drive for the past 10+ years? I’d be sitting pretty by now.
Maybe I was just in denial of all of this stuff not being at the level I really want it to be. In reality, I think I was just too worried about taking care of someone else to have time to worry about my own shit. I guess I’m just the type to put others before myself.
These days, beyond my cats I can just be selfish and finally put myself as my number one priority again. I admit it feels pretty damn good. I’m in the best shape of my life. My career and finances are heading in the right direction. I’m eating healthier than I ever have. Things are definitely looking up.
So maybe I shouldn’t be rushing to find Mrs. Right. Finding that perfect woman for me is just bound to kill all motivation. I’d just spend all my time with her and chatting with her when we aren’t together. She’d just be on my mind all day long. There’s no way I’d find the time to finish getting everything on track and keeping it there.
Besides, the more I get my act together, that Mrs. Right is just looking better and better. She’s getting younger, more attractive and more intelligent. I can let myself go a bit after we’re married. Then she’ll get bitter and the whole cycle can repeat itself 🙂
Did you get a similar boost after a breakup? And am I just jaded to think the whole thing would come full circle down the road? I dunno if I actually believe that though. I just need to find the right woman who keeps me motivated.